I was thinking about all the things that could have, did and could go wrong in my life. I have come to one conclusion, it's so complicated, its simple. So here it is, Life Lesson #101.
Life Lesson #101: Life is not that hard, you make it harder than it is. You hustle and hurry, trying to squeeze so much into 24 hours. I speak from vast experience, you become the worst part of you.
I use to holler and scream at my kids, swear, say things that I really didn't mean. I wasn't the greatest parent, my ex wasn't either. At the end of each day though, I told them I love you and kissed them goodnight. It is hard to point that finger at yourself, but when you do, you see who you don't want to be. I made my life harder than it needed to be. This effected my kids, I hope and pray that they don't make the same mistakes I did.
Now that I am older, a bit wiser,(I hope) I found that it is exhausting to be pissed off all the time. So.. therefore, I went in the complete opposite direction. I became a silly, goofy, slightly crazy, 47 year old. This is also exhausting. Do you know how hard it is to laugh all the time. I have made it my personal mission in life, to make at least one person smile a day. Sometimes it is though my blogs, or sometime I will say something so outlandish to someone, they shake their head and walk away, laughing. that's just fine with me.
It is so hard to fight with someone you love, and it hurts. My husband I don't fight, we have a tiff now and then. It is more like debates. I say what I have to say, and he says what he has to say, and we leave it alone. If I don't talk to him for about 2 hours, he will say something to make me laugh. I hate that because I cant help but not be mad at him. Yes we get mad at each other, but barely do we scream. (I raise my voice a bit sometimes) Never go to bed angry at the one you love. Tell them, even if you are mad at them, I love you, before you go to sleep. It goes a long way.
One of the biggest mistakes I made was, I expected help, but never really asked for it. I should have asked. I could have gotten myself out of many a rut, if I hadn't thought I was entitled to help. I depended on other people way too much, never on myself. I found out after I met my husband, how strong I really was. It just took me 40 years to realize it. (about 30 years too late)
Get over it. If you had a hard past, just remember that it was then, its not now. I see so many people hang on to the past, like if they let it go, they let go of a piece of who they are. You are who you are. Yes, your past shaped you, but if you are over 21, you make the choices. You can be or do whatever you want.(please keep it legal) I thought of myself as a victim, so that is who I was. Later it turned to anger, then that is who I was. Then, I let it go, and I am who I want to be now. Its so complicated, its simple. You can remember the past, don't dwell in it.
Take time to listen, shut your mouth and listen. (I'm still working on this one) You may think you do this, but you are so busy with what is going on in your brain, you really don't hear shit. I am trying to get my husband to work in this. I hate to quote the Alcoholics Anonymous big book, but there is a passage I like to live by. My friend Brad told me this, and it stuck with me. "You are where you need to be at this very moment in your life." The rest of the day will work itself out.
Oh and if you find yourself angry at something or someone, use sarcasm, and laugh. It's just that simple. I rambled a bit on this, but that is what I do sometimes.
